How I Have Coped With The Challenges Of My Office As Ogun First Lady - H.E. Mrs. Bamidele Abiodun

You simply cannot meet Her Excellency, the First Lady of Ogun state, Mrs. Bamidele Abiodun, for the first time and not be in awe of her personality. And it’s not just because she’s a gorgeous looking woman, one of the finest First Ladies we have at this time, it’s more about the substance that she oozes. For Mrs. Bamidele, the office of the First Lady of Ogun state is not a mere artificial space created by the state for her and her friends to frolick in splendour, flaunting the most priceless pieces of jewelry and fabric in the faces of the masses. The office of the First Lady, she insists, is a call to service and nothing more. And she has done such an outstanding job in that regard. Hundreds of women and children, resident in Ogun state, have benefitted immensely from her various Empowerment and skill Acquisition programmes. This is what she has spent the last five years plus doing in office as Ogun First Lady and she is yet to run out of steam. She desires to do a whole lot more. This is what the office of the First Lady means to her, every other thing is inconsequential. 

 This perhaps explains why it took this elegant but extremely down-to-earth wife of the very hardworking governor of Ogun state, Prince Dapo Abiodun, a while to agree to do this interview. For starters, she rarely grants interviews. She does not like undue attention. She is fiercely focused on her job and she prefers for her contributions to the state and humanity speak for her. Those who know Mrs. Abiodun very closely will tell you she is not one given to frivolities. Her Excellency is not loud. She is simple, yet she has such a very strong, compelling personality that immediately tells you she’s nobody’s fool. When she needs to put her foot down and speak her mind, she would do so politely, quietly, giving very little hoot whose ox is gored. And she detests praise singers around her. She likes her privacy. If she had her way, she would prefer to be left alone in her small space to do her things privately and support as many women as she possibly can without making so much publicity of it. This is one of the reasons why many Ogun indigenes, men and women alike, love their adorable First Lady. 

When I arrived the Abiodun residence in Lagos to speak with Her Excellency, I was way behind schedule. I had missed my way and it took a while navigating back on track. I feared there was a strong possibility the First Lady would be so upset I had kept her waiting she could promptly cancel the interview. But surprisingly, she didn’t. Instead, she was quite warm. I met an affable First Lady with a charming personality who immediately showed why she’s immensely loved by her people. She carries herself with no chips on her shoulders. I was speechless when she reminded me that, in another two years or so from now, she and her husband will no longer be in office, and she will return to being simply Mrs. Bamidele Abiodun, and so she was already preparing to make that transition as seamless as possible for herself.

In this interview with Senior Editor, WALE LAWAL (08037209290) she spoke candidly about how difficult it was for her to settle in as First Lady in the early days following her assumption of office and how she’s been able to adjust. She also revealed a bit of her plans to uplift Ogun women even more than she’d done. Enjoy excerpts of the interview.   

Thank you so much for the rare privilege to speak with you, your Excellency, so, let's dive straight into it. Before you became the First Lady of Ogun state almost six years ago, you were not that visible in the public glare. Of course, His Excellency, the Governor, your husband, was already well known within the political circle. How did you take it when he told you about his intention to run for governorship, considering you have been a private person all of your life and knowing that you were no longer going to have a private life once you got elected?

First, I want to say thank you very much for the honour. When my husband decided to contest this time around, knowing, of course, that he had been interested in that office for about 15 to 20 years before that time, he had tried to run a few times, I was not so surprised. So, this last time, it came with a mixture of pride and concern. I was proud of his vision and commitment to serve. I was also mindful of the demands and the scrutiny that politics brings. I knew it would require personal sacrifices, especially in terms of privacy and adapting to public life. And to prepare, I leaned on faith, sought counsel from trusted friends and family and focused on equipping myself with knowledge and strategies to support him actively. It was a steep learning curve. It has been a steep learning curve. But my commitment to his vision for Ogun state gave me the strength to adapt. You know, like I said, having shown interest a few times in running for office, I knew it was an uphill task. And over time, I had experienced the intrigues and the complexities of campaign. But like I said, it was what he wanted, and we all decided to give it the best shot. Also, on a more personal note, we had just experienced grief in the family, maybe like a year and a half before that. And it was a very welcome distraction, because everybody was dealing with it in their own ways. For me, I threw myself right into it, because it just took me away from the constant thinking and grieving. I mean, it's still there, but at least it engaged me and kept me occupied. So it was good. That was one of the reasons why I found it a bit more acceptable. Otherwise, I'm not sure that my personality had any interest in it.

So, you’ve spent almost six years in office, how has that whole journey been for you? How has it been getting right into the mix of politics and coming face-to-face with all its intrigues and pressure? And for someone who before then had nothing to do with politics, it must’ve taken a whole lot from you settling in….can you take us through that phase?

 Well, first, let me remind you, when we started the campaign, we were all campaigning to get the desired result, which was to win. But it was a very, very stiff opposition that we faced at the time and nobody really knew how it was going to end. So I don't think that I was prepared for the end until it happened. And even after it happened, it was like, I just realized, ‘ah, I'm in it now.’ Now I need to find out, how am I going to cope with this? We were more concerned at the time about getting elected into office. It was an uphill task. It was a lot. I wasn't prepared at all. But I like to relate to people. So I'll say that I can be a relatable person. Any kind of person you are, I'm always interested in people, who they are, where they're coming from, where they want to go and how I can be a part of it. So I guess when it first started, when we first got into office, I first had to deal with many things I didn't know about. And we didn't have the privilege of some things... You know, sometimes your predecessor would put you through and tell you, okay, this is how you do this. But we didn't have that privilege at the time. So it was just like I was plunged right into it. I had to find my feet and I must say some of the civil servants helped. I had a director at the time, she was of immense help because I didn't know anything. But I'm always open to learning. I never acted like I knew everything or because I'm the boss so I'm going to lord things over them. For me, it was a matter of, ‘Miss Olaniyan, what do you think we should do? How should we do this? And how did they do it the last time?’ So I was open to advice and it sort of helped me to find my feet quickly and establish myself in the office, so that's how it started.

You're someone who I know must have had a very, very sheltered childhood, someone who wasn't exposed to dealing with all manner of people and that's the exact opposite of politics. It compels you to deal with everyone. From the grassroots to the elite, the reasonable to sometimes uncouth individuals who feel entitled and yet you have to be polite to them all the time. How have you been able to process all of these and deal with it?

First, I'll tell you that I'm not polite all the time because sometimes the sense of entitlement that some people have can be extremely annoying. And I wasn't trained for this. Like you said, maybe I had a sheltered upbringing. Not really sheltered, but I wasn't that exposed to all kinds of people. I mean, I grew up in the same environment. I went to primary school, secondary school, university in the same environment. I attended University of Ibadan. And I didn't go to boarding house. So I didn't have the privilege of learning to live with other people. So relating with other people wasn't something that I had come to know by virtue of how I grew up, but I had to learn. I had to learn the hard way. Initially, when we first got in, I would say things as I saw them. I would say, why are they behaving like this? What is wrong with them? Why is this woman acting this way? There was one particular woman I remember during the campaign. She was a very aggressive woman. And she said something to somebody about me. She said that somebody had given me something to give them and I didn't give them and she's an older woman. So, I called her on the phone because I was so angry and I told her off. I said she should never say such things about me ever again, she should just leave me alone. I am not the governor. I am not the one that is running for office. If you want anything, go to your governor. If they give me anything for you, I will give it to you. But I reacted based on how I felt because I was just annoyed.

But then, over time, I got to realize that you don't relate to people like that. You don't come out blunt like that to people. Try and be more tactful. Try and find a way to let her understand, even though they don't understand because they believe what they want to believe. They have this sense of entitlement and they look at you and they think, uh-uh, you have everything. You have the answer to all their problems. So, relating to all manner of people, over time, I've had to learn. I've had to learn to relate to some people in the civil service as well. Some of them are very nice. I've met one or two that have been extremely hostile. But I've learned to not make all these encounters personal encounters. It's just part of the experience. People would display who they are. So, it's up to me to learn how I react to how they act. So, I made up my mind that I'm not going to lose my cool. Even if I'm ruffled, I'm not going to let them know how I feel. So, I try and smile all the time.

I try to be as accommodating as I possibly can all the time. I hear comments that they pass, I just ignore. I just act like nothing happened. Someone has been nasty to me, I see them and I'm warm to them. And that even helps me. It takes a lot of burden off me. So, it's not a case of where I now see someone who has offended me and I'll be feeling uncomfortable or angry. I mean, I've left... That ship has sailed because I've left you and I'm like, I’ve left you with your problems because I have found that in relating to people, people will always be who they are. It's how you react to them that makes you what you are. You can't teach an old dog new tricks and then you cannot make an adult become what you want them to be. They are who they are. So, you have to find a way to relate to them and then, you have to have your peace, otherwise, you'll be constantly in turmoil. This person did this to me, this person looked at me somehow, this person said this to me, I called this person, they didn't answer me. You know, I've made up my mind that I will not be disturbed by all these people that I have just met, because I've just met most of them. I mean, they may add value to me now, but it's just for now. Once the office is over, I may not even have a relationship with many of them. So, why should I make it an issue? It's the people that I knew before that are my people, they can bother me if they behaved in a certain way.

What would you say have been your strongest impressions of the people of Ogun State, especially the women? In almost six years of interfacing directly with them as their first lady, how would you describe your people generally, especially the women?

 Well, Ogun State people are remarkable. We're first in many things. I'm sure you know, first in many things. We have the highest number of higher institutions. We're educated. We're modern. We're forward-thinking. We're hard-working. We're full of potential. And the women are extremely resilient. I found that, in dealing with a lot of women, many of them are the breadwinners in their families and they carry it with dignity. They're ready to go out and do what they need to do to sustain their families, to uplift their children. Education is very important to a lot of Ogun women. And the women in particular, they've inspired me greatly with their strength and their determination to provide for their families and their communities as a whole, despite all the challenges. For me, it's been an honor to empower them through our various programs, because we do various programs to support them even though it's a little like scratching the surface. We have offered skill acquisition, health interventions, financial inclusion, training them towards financial independence and the importance of it.

We also intervene in gender-based violence cases. I mean, there's now a lot of talk on gender-based violence. Before now, I think it was in 2020 that the governors declared a state of emergency on gender-based violence and since then, there's been more talk on gender-based violence and we're teaching the girls, teaching the boys, how the boys should respect the girls, how girls should run away from situations where they find themselves being harassed or abused. We teach them how girls can speak up, because that's another problem, many people don't know that they can speak up where they can find help because more often than not, the perpetrator is within the family or around that same environment. So, now we let them know that there are consequences for these actions. Just pull yourself away, find someone because sometimes you can't tell your parents, you can't tell people around you. They won't believe you or they'll think that you are the one that asked for it. There are phone numbers you can call now, there are places you can go to where you can find shelter, you can find succour. The courage and the ability of women to get what they want is second to none. Culturally, again, Ogun state people are pace-setters. For decades, we have demonstrated how to be proud of our culture, and our heritage.

Our people are vibrant, they are sophisticated. Our women, no matter how uneducated they are, they try to be sophisticated. For instance, this Ojude Oba that we do in Ijebu-Ode every year, I mean, look at how it takes them one year to prepare for it, and they go to great lengths to prepare for it and they come out looking extremely beautiful and not all of them are educated. Not all of them are enlightened like that.They may not be educated, but they're open to learning, do you understand? And they're sophisticated. Some of them may not be educated, but highly sophisticated they are and our women are like that. Ogun state women, it must be said, are very hard-working.

Listening to you in the last few minutes, one can see you’re passionate about the people of Ogun State, especially the women. I'd like to know, what would you say has been that one thing that brings you great joy in being the First Lady of Ogun State? What would you say has been your biggest fulfillment yet in occupying that office?

Without a doubt, the ability to positively impact the lives of people gives me the most joy. Seeing women and children thrive through initiatives that we have implemented. Whether it's the mother who starts her business, maybe after receiving a small grant, you'd be amazed that for someone in the market, 20,000 naira can make a difference in their lives. How? They don't have any money, they don't have any capital, but they go to the market. They collect from somebody who has the resources to buy a lot then they go and sell. They now give the person back their money. If you now give that person a little bit of capital, they now start to build their own. We find that our women are very responsible when it comes to borrowing money. Most of our women, they always pay back. There was one time we did a program with FCMB called She Ventures, and they gave some of our women loans, interest-free loans, and maybe 98% of them paid back. The ones that didn't pay back were for reasons that were beyond their control. Our women understand how to run businesses. They understand that they are women of integrity. They borrow money and they pay back. We put them in clusters so that they can borrow money and when they borrow money they pay back. It helps them to progress. These are the kinds of things that make me extremely happy, especially also being able to do something for someone that cannot do anything back for you in return, that is the one that gives me the most pleasure. The person doesn't even have to know me, but knowing that I've done it for that person, I've seen the difference that it has made in the life of that person, and then the person doesn't have to come and be doing, ‘ah, yes, ma, thank you, ma’. That is what I like. That is what gives me the most joy.

You have spent almost 6 years in office without any form of controversy trailing you or your office. We haven't read anywhere where people have come out to say, oh, she's too full of herself, she has problems relating with people. None of this has happened and I know it couldn't have been easy for you to achieve this when dealing with different kinds of people. Would you say some part of your childhood, in some way, prepared you for the office? Was there any part of your childhood that, if you look back, you can say shaped you in one way or another and prepared you for this role?

Well, definitely I give credit to my upbringing in terms of how I relate to people and handle things now, because I grew up in a, well, not sheltered, but in a small community, and I'm deeply grateful to my parents for the values they instilled in me and the environment in which I grew up, you know, humility, discipline, self-confidence, and a strong sense of service. It was pretty much a modest upbringing. It wasn't lavish in any way. So the values that we had then were not based on money, they're not like the values that people have now. These days, everything's all about money, what you have, who you are. Education was essential, it was imperative, but how you relate to other people was very, very, important. I didn't, and I still don't know how to look down on other people because I am more privileged than they are. I'm not able to relate to people like that because that's how we were brought up. These have been my guiding principles in navigating the pressures of public office because, you know, in public office, sometimes I realize how some people really get carried away and how it gets to their head because you get people coming and everybody is shaking, running up and down.

But for me, I’ve never been given to flattery, even when I was very young. When people are overly nice, I’m a bit cautious than accepting of it. And I’m like, why are you flattering me, what for? Say it as it is, don’t patronise me. So, like I said, these have been my guiding principles in navigating the pressures of public office. They’ve taught me to stay grounded annd very, very focused even in the face of challenges. I’ve also learnt to prioritise and remind myself that, while I can’t meet every expectation, I can strive to make a meaningful difference in the areas that I can control. And you know, my parents always taught us to treat everyone with dignity and respect, no matter who they are and for me, everything is time and chance. No matter who you are, you cannot remain in office forever. So, I am already preparing myself for a smooth transition from public office back to my private life like nothing happened. I remind myself that you’re just Bamidele o, after you leave office, these people hailing you and shouting ‘your Excellency’ will pass by you and will not even greet you, so, I’m ready for that. I’m not flattered by it at all.